From Grace
by ThatClutzsarahh
Summary: He had been betrayed, broken and hurt. He never wanted the throne. Who could blame him for the things he's done?
1. Chapter 1

**I loved this movie. I fell in LOVE when I saw it. What a wonderful tale. So I wanted to expand. Here is chapter one, they'll be longer chapters, it's just that I needed to get the ball rolling. Reviews warm my soul, btw.**

**I own nothing but the typos**  
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It is just a bit of fun.

That's all it ever is to him. But how things could go so horribly wrong is beyond him and like always he tries to fix things. Only this time, the fixing is the ultimate sacrifice. Thor will never understand that Loki has done this all for him, for his return, so that Thor could return to the things he wants. Because if there was one thing Loki loves as much as fun, it is his brother.

But his brother is gone, far away from him now, and like everything else in his life he can't take it seriously. He knows that if he starts with sincerity he will not be able to live, because he will know that the pain he puts himself in is self sacrificial, and he will be unable to bear that kind of weight. Like a serpent he is already crawling on his belly, scraping the sands of a foreign world, somewhere he is not use to nor knows well. It is earth, and while he's been once, to stay forever here, among the human is the worse he can think of. They are the scum of the nine realms, the ones who live in fear of everything around them. Loki belongs here. Because he too, is scum.

He jokes have gone too far. His magic is far too strong, and while he knows that using it will cause an uproar, he shakes himself off of the rumble he's in and fixes a few bones under his skin. Healing powers or not, it hurt him like no other, and when he begins to walk it's a struggle, a fight. Every step is a reminder of just how far from grace he's fallen, just how far he is from home and everything he knows. It is a reminder of the self-exile he has created from himself. Here it is cold, and it is not just the air. He can feel creeping slowly towards his bones and while he wraps his human jacket closer to himself, he can't help but feel it seeping through even the itchy layers of fabric. Loki shivers and wraps himself tighter in the fabric, unsure of where he is to go now.

And so he wanders, unable to stop himself from doing so. It gets colder as he goes, and he feels less and less like the God he once was-still is, he corrects himself-and more mortal, with mortal strengths. Carefully he sticks his hand out from the warmth of his jacket and twists his palm. The sparks that fly from his skin are weak but there and it confirms his worse fears. His power is dying. This cold he is feeling is the absence of magic, the absence of power. He tries again, and again and again, and it's gone now, completely erased from him. Unable to stand any longer, Loki falls to his knees, face upturned to the sky.

And it is from his knees he fell, exhausted into the cold, his whole body freezing up and pouring into the cold pavement. Without his power he is not Loki. He looks at his hands, staring at the flesh that is slowly becoming paler and paler. He wonders idly if he brother has come to search for him. He wonders, in this cold place, if they can feel his power returning. He is sure it is not gone, but simply repressed far within him. It will leave him though, and he will become a demi-god, and then finally a man, without power. He had fall from grace, and all he can do is stare at his human formed hands, whispering to himself.

"Thor."

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It was subtle at first. Just on visit to the edge, on the pretense that he was going to see the gatekeeper, to see how he was. He stared over the ledge then, looking down the water fall and towards the stars that swallow everything. The gate keeper guesses and guesses wrong, but Thor will not say that to him. And so that was what he let him believe, because it's believable. But Thor knows that is not the truth.

The second visit is just the same as the first, and Thor stands there on the edge of the rainbow bridge, looking down silently. This time, the gatekeeper does no speak. He looks ahead and away from him, almost as if he is silently giving him privacy. It's been barely 24 hours since he's stood leaning over the edge, and he is back again. The stars beneath him are swirling, taunting him. He wants to jump, but he will not. One son lost is enough to break Odin, two would ruin everything they have worked for.

Mourning his loss has been so hard. It haunts him every day. His nights have been plagued with nightmares of him, watching him as he dangled beneath him, trying to justify the things he did. If only father would listen. But the nightmare ends with him slipping away. And Thor feels the pain in his chest. The hole is aching and he can't help the way he nearly cripples to the ground from it. His visits to the bridge increase dramatically as the visions plague him. If only...

He should search for him, but has not done so. Instead he spends his time staring over the edge of a bridge, just wanting to get a glimpse of him. No one understands his pain, and he will not let anyone feel it. He can't make the images stop, he can't stop feeling the heartbreak that quakes throughout his skin. And on one particular day, as the sun sets, Thor falls to his knees. He grips the edge of the bridge. The images are heart breaking, aching, and he can't make them stop. If only he had reached for him, asked for him to stop. If only he'd seen all that Loki had done for him.

The gatekeeper, in all his subtly, approaches Thor and sinks down next to him. His eyes stare out over the open expanse. There are no words of comfort to offer the God of Thunder as he weeps for his lost brother. And the gatekeeper, in his wise and old age begins to inch towards Thor. He has known for a while why he still comes to this place, but he is kind enough not to say anything.

"I can't see him," he decides to say today, "Loki."

"I know," Thor says, "I can feel his power, he is weak. It is fading."

A heavy silence fits between the two, no words or exchanges come between them. Thor stares down at the stars, swirling beneath him.

"Do you know where he is?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me."

"No," the gatekeeper says, "He asked me, before all this, that if he were to leave, not to let anyone know where he is."

"Then tell me this," Thor says, standing, "Is he safe?"

The gatekeeper says nothing. And Thor gets it. Turning away, he heads back to his throne, and all the duties that lay ahead for him. He is a broken man. And as he leaves, he whispers to himself.

"Loki."

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	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, those reviews mean so much to me! I am onto chapter two, where the story become a little more in depth. I'm glad those of you who reviewed enjoyed my writing style. It means so much, thank you!**

**I own only the typos**

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><p>There is a soft prodding on his face, he can feel it even through his slumber. He's warm, oh so very warm here and he does not want to wake. Even though his dreams are dark, the memories he relives behind closed lids are ones he fears, he simply will not wake. The punishment he puts himself through at night is fit for a man of his type, a man with no check of going to far, no rein of control. He only wants to know who he is, what he is, but no one will tell him and now they'll never say. The prodding grows harder across his smooth cheek and he lolls his head, right into something wet and cold.<p>

"Is he alive?" comes a soft murmur of a male's voice. All too quickly he remembers where he is, Midgard and that the mortals are near. His eyes pop open quickly and flash across the sky. It's snowing, how fitting, and he scrambles to sit up, feeling the heavy weight of something warm fall around his hips. And suddenly he is freezing again, teether chattering. He notices his arms going blue and the cold begins to numb.

"Dude!" shouts the same male voice, "He's going blue!"

Loki scrambles for the blanket to stick his arm under, changing his skin color to normal again. He turns his face to three humans, two males and a female. They all look at him curiously, but the girl catches his eye. There is something not right with her, he can tell. The way her blue eyes are glittering seem less mortal and more immortal. But she brushes a strand of golden hair away from her face and turns to the boys.

"Do you speak english?" the raven haired boys says, a voice different from the one asking if he were alive or not.

"Of course," Loki snips, he was about to add that he spoke all the languages but refrained, because he was a mortal here and not a God. "Where am I?" he demands, looking around. The tree give each other worried looks and turn to face the fallen God.

"Dude," whispers the red haired man to the black haired man, "We should get him to a hospital. He might have hypothermia or something."

The three nod to each other and the boys grasp Loki from underneath the arms. Not one to be touched, he wiggles away and forces himself to stand. But just as he does, he is pitched forward and into the waiting arms of the blonde girl. For a second he inhaled, smelling her sweet scent so familiar to him and struggling back up to his feet. She was so vaguely familiar...

"Let us help, dude," one man says, "You're in no condition to walk."

Loki resigns, content to letting the two mortals shuffle him over to a side walk. The woman brushes past him.

"I'll go get the car," she calls, already jogging off down the road. Loki tries again.

"Where am I?" he asks more firm this time.

"New York City," they say, "Do you not remember?"

Loki's features grow pale as he blinks slowly. He was, without a doubt, on Midgard and these, without a doubt are mortals. He turns his eyes up to the sky and watches as small frosty drops of snow are falling, entangling themselves in his raven hair and landing on his mortal clothing. The two sitting next to him give each other worried glances, watching this man, seemingly dazed and confused as he tries to make sense of where he is.

"Do you remember anything?" the light haired man asks.

_Of __course __I __do,_ he thinks darkly, _But __there__'__s __no __way __I__'__m __telling __you._

"No," Loki says instead, "Where am I in New York City?"

He looks around and all he sees in nature covered in a blanket of white frosty snow. New York City, from what he knew of Midgard, was the "concrete jungle" of the "United States". It was a city. He had not expected to find so much nature in such a large city. Perhaps they were wrong about it being just a full city...

"You're in central park," the guy says in a hurried tone, "I hope Sarah gets back with the car soon, this guy needs to see a doctor right now."

"Can you tell us your name sir?" came the voice of the raven haired man.

'Lo-" but he stops, not about to say his real name, "Leo." The men nod and look off to see a large metal contraption driving towards them. The blonde girl -Sarah as he now knows- jumps out and pulls open the door, ushering the three of them towards her.

"Hurry," she says, "Let's get him to the hospital."

Loki's eyes meet with hers once again and he sees an other-wordly glint in them. She, noticing he's looked her in the eyes, ducks her head to hide her gaze. Loki knows there is something strange with her, something not right about this "mortal" and, as one never to be fooled, he is determined to find out what.

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><p>"<em>Because <em>_I __am __a __monster __parents __tell __their __children __about __at __night?__"_

Loki's words are echoing in Odin's head, bouncing around and around and around like a ball, unable to stop the momentum that it has. He ducks his head in shame. He's been trying so hard to get those words from his mind, trying to forget the son he's betrayed. But Loki has left his imprint on Odin's mind, in his eye and in his heart. He knew it was selfish, to take the baby from the temple, but he had too. Loki was so small, so human. Odin couldn't just leave him in the aftermath.

He feels his heart clench and grips his chest, causing Thor to rush to his side, holding him up to keep the old man from falling. Thor struggles to keep his stance until the old man has righted himself.

"You are thinking of Loki again," he says, not a question but a statement. Odin nods.

"_It all makes sense now, you couldn't have a frost giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"_

"I think of him too," Thor says quietly, though it is all he says. Carefully Thor sets his father down on the seat, settling himself beside him as Odin rubs his face in his palms.

"_You took me for a purpose..."_

"Loki is gone," Odin says with an indefinite tone in his voice, "And as much as we want him to return, we can not bring him back."

Odin stands again, unable to sits and close his eyes because Loki's face floods his mind.

"_I could have done it father...for you...for all of us..."_

"No Loki," Odin whispers aloud, his son's name leaving his lips. He brings his fingers up to touch them, to taste them, to taste his son's name on his lips one last time. Odin will never let anyone see how much pain he really is in, how much he blames himself for the loss of Loki, for the way things turned out to be. Thor tries to stand next to Odin, to calm him, but he brushes Thor's hand away.

"Leave me be," he growls, "I do not wish for company."

He turns away from Thor and stalks back into his bed chambers, closing the door and letting it vibrate into the silence.

"_You know it all makes sense now, why you favored Thor all these years, because no matter how much you claim to love me..."_

And for the first time in a long time, Odin, God of Gods sits down on his bed and begins to weep.

And it it Thor who hears his pain.

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